Easily Overwhelmed

That describes me to a T. (aside: what is T? where does that come from?)

I seem to be unable to focus in my life. There are always many goals that I want to achieve, but I seem to lack the drive to follow through no matter how important it is to me. Of course, this isn't entirely true (I did raise $6000 for the CDA and walk a marathon afterall), but it's true enough to be bothersome.

I just signed up at www.sparkpeople.com, which is a free (yup, I didn't believe it either) online weight management thingie. It sounds fantastic. But darn it all, it requires me to count calories, and every time I put something in and see this gigantic spike in calorie numbers, I always freak and shy away! Perhaps I'm not quite at the "put effort into it" stage. I don't believe in the magic solutions like many people do, I know that there are probably a lot of health concerns with magic diet pills, or whatever. But truthfully? I wish I did....I wish I wasn't intelligent enough to know that if it's that easy it's probably got a catch...a catch that could be my health. I just want to be instantly skinny again! But I don't want to work for it! Hahaha...:(

So, just hours after signing up, I'm wondering if I'm going to follow through! It's so sad. It's a great program, and it encourages starting slowly...but the problem is, it sets a range for you to try to stay within for all sorts of stuff like calories, fat, protein, carbs, etc...and I can't help but want to try to achieve that on the first day, or I'm going to feel like a failure!! *sigh* Well, I'm still going to stick with my initial goals of cutting out pop completely, and walking every day. From there on? I don't know, I'll let you know how it goes. :)?

In other goal setting news that I feel incapable of achieving, I really want to achieve the darned cruise with Stampin Up...if not this year, then next...but I just can't see how! I'm such a terrible sales person! I'd practically spend all the money myself, but $60000 is expensive for a cruise even *if* it's all in stamping products...hehehe.

*sigh* I'm still unsure of this blog thing. Case in point: this post. It's so boring. Do I at least enjoy writing it? Hmmmm....